“Now, see, with these glasses, you won’t get any older and you won’t ever die.”

Oh my God! What are they doing to this baby! Someone help!

You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have babies with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads!

“They’re in the Missing Shriner formation!”

Jerry Montgomery, at a parade in Brazil, Indiana, when the Shriners appeared with their Mini Cars

“There’s always room for cello.”

Me, when we were trying to put Helen’s nephew Paul’s cello into a car and someone said it wouldn’t fit

Today at lunch, a coworker was telling us about a berry found in the Amazon rain forest that’s being put into different juices and such, but he couldn’t remember the name. Another coworker commented, “It’s the genetically altered Boo Berry,” and we all laughed. (The actual berry is the açaí berry (pronounced [asaˈi]).)

As an off-the-cuff joke, I think that was great, but it made me wonder if there’s a better choice for that joke given more time to think about it. I considered:

• Boo Berry
• Franken Berry
• Smurf Berry

I think my favorite is Smurf Berry. Smurfs are always funny.